Nervous wreck

It’s 4:15 a.m., and at 8 a.m. I have my second prenatal doctor’s visit, and I’m just a nervous wreck! I’ve got to stop surfing around online about pregnancy after 35, CVS testing, NF testing, symptoms, complications, etc. Ughhh. The more I read the more worried I get.
I don’t know if I’ll have to have a CVS test…I guess I will find out today, since it’s only done between 11-13 weeks’ pregnant, and today I’m officially 11 weeks 3 days pregnant. One part of me wants to have it done, because it will rule out many problems, AND it determines the sex of the baby more than a month earlier than just by U/S, but another is definitely not wanting a jab in the stomach to have the placenta played with. And not to mention the complications THAT could involve!
Other than that, I have NO idea what other tests or procedures are done at the second visit, especially since I’m a high-risk pregnancy. I’m hoping that I’ll have another U/S, because I really want to hear the heartbeat again and see if he or she is romping around in the amniotic sac as a baby should be doing around this time.
I feel a bit sick, but I think it’s worry, and not morning sickness, as well as a little stress from work and just THINKING TOO MUCH! I had absolutely no energy left when I got off work yesterday, and came home and crashed on the sofa for about an hour. Then I got up, and motivated myself to make some healthy bread, using the bananas I had left, rapidly withering in the beyond-warm apartment. SO, I made my “banana/raisin brick bread.” A sweet, yet healthy bread I can slice and toast and serve with cherry jam. Didn’t measure, but eyeballed it, but here’s what it included: (approximate measurements)
• Two cups bread flour
• One cup rye flour
• One cup spelt flour
• 2/3 cup raw oats
• 1/3 cup cashews
• 1/2 cup raisins
• two very ripe bananas
• One cup apple juice
• 2 tablespoons cinnamon
• 2/3 cup sugar
• One teaspoon salt
• 1/3 stick melted butter
• About 1 1/2 cups water
• One package active dry yeast in 1/2 cup warm water

I just mashed it all together by hand, mind you (what a workout!), greased a Pyrex dish, preheated the oven to 350, let the dough rise for about 45 minutes, and cooked it for just under an hour, until the crust was golden and the inside moist but thoroughly cooked.
And it was great! If you like super-dense bread that sticks to your ribs, has a nice mellow sweetness and no preservatives, then you might want to take a try. I happen to like the very nutty, earthy denseness provided by the rye flour, but it can be made with just unbleached bread flour, and usually is, and taste great. I just like the whole grain option. Makes it a bit less “sinful” for me.
Since I was tired, stressed and not up for slaving over a hot oven last night, I decided it would be “breakfast for dinner” night. I ended up making just plain old scrambled eggs (with lots of fresh pico de gallo to spoon on top) and cheese toast, made from the potato bread I bought at the Mountain Top Mercantile in Cloudcroft. Basically a grilled cheese sandwich, without the grill marks. And a green salad. Simple, nutritious, frugal and just hit the spot in terms of comfort eating.
NOT that it stopped me from having a slice of reduced-fat banana-chocolate chip coffee cake at Starbucks afterwards, though. Lol. I win some, I lose some. Or rather, I win some, I gain some.
So I’ll be living off of my banana-raisin brick bread for a few days to come, trying to find various incarnations for the slices. French toast? Banana and peanut butter sandwich? Slathered with Nutella? Well, I guess carbohydrates are definitely my pregnancy food addiction.

So, I’ll try to get some rest before leaving for the appointment, and check in as soon as I can!


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